Distance....

Josh and I have never lived within an hour of each other, never! On one hand I am sure that it has made our relationship stronger, because nothing sucks more while being as rewarding as missing one another and not being able to do anything about it. On the other hand, I am terrified that once we move in together it will change things. Today I found out that one of my friends is going to again have to experience distance far greater than I have ever had to deal with. Out of my two closest friends, both now have sig others living very far away, one in Louisiana and one in Maryland! At least I can see my man, even if it costs a small fortune in gas each month!!

I have noticed that people treat you differently once you are engaged. Those that are also engaged, or married suddenly feel like you have more in common, and what to indulge in your need to talk non-stop wedding even though it is FOREVER away. While those that are not engaged/married, have no interest in being, or just aren't there yet, treat you like you caught some sort of illness and need to be kept at arms length. It's really hurtful to be punished for something that you should be 100% happy and supported in. I guess that's just part of it. I know that I have been jealous for a long time of all the people getting married around me, or getting to live with their person, but at the same time even when I have to fake it I act happy, because it is a really important time in their lives.

On a happier note I have found some really great sites with wholesale vases (still thinking about doing the flowers myself) etc. The only issue is that I know I will need lots of help the day before the wedding, and I am not sure who is going to be willing. I feel really uncomfortable asking people for help in any part of my life, especially for the wedding.

I am so happy that I have lots of time to think about it though, because there are a lot of options out there! Here are some of my newest inspirations:

As you can tell I am still really in to the green, brown, and purple. Since Mavris' ceilings are so high I really like the idea of hanging things from them. But then again, I would have to get lots of help, and I'm just not sure people are going to want to come help me hang from the rafters!

Oh yeah, brings me to the first (probably of many) issues with Mavris: They are not handicap accessible for the outside garden, which is where I would want to get married (trains and all) if we have the ceremony there. I got a call back from them, promising that they would be by the time of my wedding, but that is a lot of trust to put in to a place. I have several older relatives that are/will be in wheel chairs, as well as some of Josh's family. I guess worse case scenario I could always rent ramps. It is just hard to imagine spending any more at this point!

At this point with school (which I am SOOOO over) I just need to go out and get a drink and relax! Any takers?